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Skin-deep in Politics

Posted by This Guy on Wednesday, July 02, 2008 10:48:33 AM
Dennis Haysbert (a.k.a. President David Palmer)  recently commented that he feels his role as President David Palmer on '24' may have given Sen. Barack Obama a boost, by "help[ing] open the eyes of the American people", saying it helped "... to prove the possibility there could be an African-American president, a female president, any type of president that puts the people first".  He told of enjoying dinner in a "very wealthy, very white, and very Republican" town, and having a woman approach him and say she wanted to vote for him.

I understand the sentiment of Mr. Haysbert's statement ... i.e., introducing the General Populace to the idea of a "different" President in an entertainment arena helps lower potential resistance to that same idea when it appears in the Real World.  But the underlying theme is one that seems to be recurring in this particular election cycle; namely, "I'M not racist, but I think other people probably are".

Mr. Haysbert's comment sheds light on his own assumptions about "very wealthy, very white, and very Republican" people, as if it is a new phenomenon that such a person might actually consider voting for an African-American, or a woman.  This of course, ignores the important fact that President David Palmer was portrayed as a man of intense personal character and integrity, who was willing to put politics and personal ambition aside for the sake of the American people.  In that light, it is not at all surprising that someone from what is probably considered a "traditionally conservative demographic" would support such an individual for President.  The fact that this isn't obvious to Mr. Haysbert, and likely many others in our nation, shows how much work conservatives still have to do to break through certain prejudices and stereotypes.
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Failing Iraqi Government?

Posted by This Guy on Thursday, August 30, 2007 10:30:44 AM
According to the AP, the Iraqi government is getting a "failing grade", having failed to meet 13 of 18 benchmarks provided by US lawmakers.  Here's an article courtesy of CNN.  (Don't tell anyone though, because the report isn't public yet, by the way.)

13 of 18 failed means 5 of 18 achieved, which is about a 28% success rate.  Is that anything like an approval rating?  Because the latest Pew and Gallup polls put the old Job Rating of our own Congress between 18-21% approval.  That's a good 7-10% lead for the Iraqis.  Maybe a few of our senators and representatives could take a field trip to Baghdad and get some advice on effective governing.

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America's First Responders

Posted by This Guy on Friday, April 20, 2007 3:45:52 PM
Our country grieves today for the friends and family of the victims at Virginia Tech.  Undoubtedly, a tragedy of this scale invites reflection and evaluation, and there will be continued debate for many weeks to come on how such a nightmare can be prevented in the future.

One of the many lessons to be learned from the atrocity at VT is this:  Government can't protect us.

This isn't a new lesson, but it's one that many of our citizens seem to have forgotten, or one perhaps that they have failed to learn, even though the point gets illustrated daily.

At the scene every car accident, who is the first to arrive?  Firefighters?  Police?  EMT?  Nope.  It's concerned citizens, compelled to help. 

House on fire?  Good neighbors will always beat the fire department. 

Hurricane Katrina.  No one argues that the government at any level, local, state, or federal, handled that well.  Who bore the brunt of the burden, and supplied the most immediate aid?  Churches.  The community.  Neighbors.  Citizens.

Citizens will always be at the forefront of any crisis, because the government can't be everywhere all the time, no matter how big we make it.  Maybe we should stop making laws that force citizens into government dependency.  Maybe it'd make sense to start teaching our citizens how to take care of themselves, and just as importantly, how to take care of each other. 




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Ow, My Career!

Posted by This Guy on Friday, February 16, 2007 11:15:32 AM
I saw a blurb in the Raleigh News & Observer today:

To quote: "War vote may make or break careers"

Gee, I sure would hate for some poor lawmaker to have to go make a living doing something else, just because he or she stood on principal in the midst of a war, and a virtual flood of misinformation.  Sure, it would be a shame for us to lose the war in Iraq, but think of how much worse it would be for representatives to lose their elected offices!  What would they do to feed their families?  

And really, how can I be upset if our representatives vote for what is popular, instead of what is right?  Isn't that what democracy is all about?
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But I Support the Teachers!

Posted by This Guy on Friday, December 08, 2006 2:46:09 PM
There is a virtual war going on in our schools today, and our teachers are losing the battle.  I support our teachers 100% and if anyone dares question my patriotism, I am proud to say I served in school from age 5 to 18, and then did a four year tour in college, so don't you dare suggest I don't know what I'm talking about.  The only way to turn the tide of our younger generation's slide into mediocrity is to pull every single teacher out of the public school system.  They simply aren't getting the job done.  I completely support our teachers, and you can tell because I want to bring them all home and keep them there.

The state of the public education system in the US is simply atrocious.  Considering the prosperity of our nation, one would think that our students would be the most well-trained, well-equipped, and all around smartest in the world.  If one were a math student in the US, one certainly might think one was good at math, despite evidence to the contrary.  Nevertheless, one would be wrong in both cases.

Obviously, most teachers become teachers because they lack the necessary skills and opportunities to pursue more lucrative occupations.  You can't tell me that given a choice between a high-paying job and teaching, that anyone would ever choose to be a teacher.  I'm supportive of our teachers, but let's do the right thing here and get them out of harm's way. 

The only course of action that will ever solve the trouble with our education system is to have students learn to take responsibility for their own education.  And in order for them to take their self-education seriously, we need to set a hard deadline for our teacher withdrawal.  Knowing that the day of their self-reliance is quickly approaching will motivate our students to learn the skills they will need once our teachers are permanently home.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely support our teachers 150%, and I will vigorously defend anyone who says they aren't great individuals, but it's obvious they don't know what they're doing and they're only making things worse.  Let's get them out of those schools.


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Gift Idea for the Troops

Posted by This Guy on Thursday, November 30, 2006 3:37:07 PM
For anyone planning on sending care packages to our troops, you might consider putting in some Silly String, since it's helping save lives.  Our soldiers are using it to help detect tripwires, and I don't think there is any Government Issue Silly String in the armory.

Just a heads up in case you were looking for ideas.





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Oathbreaking for Fun and Profit

Posted by This Guy on Wednesday, November 29, 2006 11:10:12 AM
There's been a bit of a debate recently over Keith Ellison's (D-Minn.) desire to take his oath on the Koran instead of the Bible.  It raises a very important issue that I think everyone is overlooking.  Allowing Mr. Ellison to take his oath on the Koran instead of the Bible might very well be the first step to freedom for many of our congresspeople.

In our current system of goverment, members of Congress must recite an oath, while laying a hand on the Bible, presumably because any man or woman who holds the Bible sacred surely wouldn't lie while touching one.  The whole practice is outrageous, being wholly discriminatory against Christians who wish to hold office. 

Consider Mr. Ellison's position.  If he were forced to take his oath on the Bible, the power of his conviction would be greatly reduced.  After all, swearing upon a book that holds no authority in one's life should have no significant influence on one's decision to keep or break one's oath. The same holds true for any other member of Congress with no special affection for the Bible. 

But now consider the plight of the poor Christian Congressperson, forced to swear an oath upon the very foundation of his or her faith.  After such an oath, that Congressperson is unfairly shackled by the power of conviction in a way that none of his or her peers are! 

And who are we as a country to require anyone to "swear" an "oath" anyway?  What if circumstances change?  People change all the time!  Who can predict the future?  Shouldn't we just strongly recommend that the men and women of our Congress do the best they can with what they have? 

If we as a nation insist on the continuance of this barbaric oathing practice, we should at very least allow Christian Congressmen and Congresswomen to choose an alternate book upon which to swear, such as a Webster's New Universal Unabridged Dictionary, or a copy of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion", to avoid placing them in any greater crisis of conscience than their peers.

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Poll: Americans Smartest People They Know

Posted by This Guy on Tuesday, October 24, 2006 4:45:04 PM
A recent poll conducted by me in arguably scientific fashion turned up some interesting data that I thought I'd share. 

A full 100% of Americans are the smartest people they know. 

I had trouble finding people to take my poll, because almost everyone I talked to was tired of constantly being polled about how against the war in Iraq they are and how much they dislike the President, but when I did get someone to participate, I noted that they tended to be highly articulate and had well-informed opinions on the matter of their personal intellect.

Naturally, the results might be somewhat skewed ... perhaps, for example, smarter people are more likely to understand the inherent value of polls, and thus my population sample is tainted with only the smartest, but I don't think that's the case.

Living in America, I naturally expect most people to rate themselves as "above average" in intelligence, because this is the United States, after all, and if we aren't leaders in the Smarts Department, then that's only because someone is doctoring results.  What I find most fascinating about my results, however, is that even when interviewing married couples, each agreed that they were the more intelligent (in some cases, the intelligenter) of the two.  I'm not the brightest individual (I'm probably only slightly above average), so I'm not exactly sure how that can be statistically true, but I assume it is, because it's in my poll and we all know polls don't lie.


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Study: Americans Beautifulest in World

Posted by This Guy on Thursday, October 12, 2006 4:22:37 PM
Study: Americans Most Beautiful, says World

Oct. 12, 2006 (MHPOSRN):  According to a newly released global study, Americans are the best-looking people on the face of the planet.  It is no secret that the American people have the best, purest sets of DNA, with the highest rating of people per million carrying the recently-identified Rgl1 gene (known commonly as the "really good looking" gene).  But until now, evidence in support of this fact (though widely-accepted as true in all except the most backwards of nations) was considered largely anecdotal.  Thanks to the hard work of industrious Americans, science has now confirmed what was suspected all along.

Research was carried out in the most excellent and scientific of fashions, and the results have been unquestionably confirmed as 100% accurate +/- 0.00, with no outlying data or variation and no margin of error.  To achieve the highest degree of integrity, the study was carried out by surveying many households and requiring participants to accurately rate themselves on beauty, as well as rating pictures of citizens from other countries for the same.  The figures were then extrapolated with indigenous American wisdom and excellence, revealing scientific results that were not at all surprising.

When told of the findings, one Ichiro Tsuzaki of Japan replied, "I am not at all surprised.  Americans are so beautiful!"
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Putting the "Me" in Media

Posted by This Guy on Wednesday, October 11, 2006 12:16:25 PM
I just had the most brilliant idea ever, and soon I will be too wealthy to blog.  I have to give some credit to the genius of North Korea for the idea, but the seeds of my soon-to-be greatness were actually planted by one Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, former Iraqi Minister of Information.

Three words.  Or maybe five.  Well, three, but two of them are hyphenated, so consider this as three words with the value of five:

Privately-owned state-run newspaper.

Freedom of the press is entirely overrated.  Sure, it's great when news agencies actually report facts, but in a day when a comedy show has as much newsworthy content as network news, it'd be nice to at least have one source that provides only what the government wants us to hear and/or think.  So I'm going to start one.  Since I don't have any actual government sources (yet), I'll just be making things up, but I doubt that's much different than what goes on in any other journalistic medium anyway. 

Articles to follow.
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Bumper Wisdom

Posted by This Guy on Wednesday, October 04, 2006 12:08:47 PM
In times as confusing as these, it's nice to have a reliable source to turn to when I'm in need of a little truth and wisdom.  That's why I love bumper stickers.

A great way to start the morning, and a nice bookend after work, I find my commute to and fro chock full of Enlightened Commentary and Deep Utterances of Truth, all supplied by the true patriots kind enough to serve their country by volunteering space on their vehicles for all manner of revelatory reading material.

For example, this morning I learned that dissent is the highest form of patriotism.  Previously, I had the backwards notion that the quality of one's dissent was connected in some way to the topic with which one was dissenting, but in one brief lane change, my fellow American simultaneously taught me that it's always in the country's best interest for me to express disagreement, and encouraged me to brake rapidly.

I also learned that war isn't the answer.  I'm not sure what the question is, but at least I've had one possible response completely eliminated for me, right off the bat.

Also, I learned that God said "Thou shalt not kill".  I always thought the commandment said something about murder, but happily my heresy has been corrected by a thoughtful motorist. 

I used to spend a lot of time mulling over all the bits of information I collected throughout the day, but now I've realized that's all been wasted energy!  Now that I have a virtually unlimited supply of Wisdom conveniently packaged and presented to me twice a day, I'm about to have a whole lot more free time.  And I'm going to use all that free time to create the perfect nation where our schools have billions of dollars to waste and the military has to hold a bake sale to buy all of its supplies.


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Enemy Within the Gates

Posted by This Guy on Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:56:54 AM
A few months ago there was quite a lot of hullabaloo about Liberal Judges and the way they were circumventing Proper Legislative Process by legislating from the bench.  But it turns out there's a much more insidious foe at large within our nation's heart.

Take a look at the recently passed Safe Port Act.  Just give the Titles a scan, and see if you notice anything odd.  Don't be alarmed if you hear the faint tune of "One of These Kids is Doing His Own Thing" drifting lazily in the background.

Title VIII is the culprit; somehow, legislation regarding "unlawful internet gambling enforcement" fell into this bill originally designed to improve security in our nation's ports.  The implications are chilling. Somewhere within the shadows of our Senate and/or House, there lurks a League of Cunning Typists, bent on sneaking laws of their own into existence without drawing attention from the public or debate from Congress.  Our poor, duly-elected Senators and Representatives have fallen prey to the sinister machinations of an underground movement of skilled Selectrixsters, and now a vote for Safer Ports has had an unimaginable side-effect on Online Poker!  There's no other explanation!

These text-editing mercenaries must be identified and expelled before our Esteemed Congresspeople become their unwitting pawns yet again!

(Thanks to Wayland for sniffing this out.)

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You've Got to Keep Them Separated

Posted by This Guy on Wednesday, September 27, 2006 5:51:15 PM
I got a little concerned recently when the folks at my church started mentioning politics, as if my personal beliefs should in any way inform my political leanings.  Fortunately for me, the IRS is on top of things and has a campaign of its own to protect my Rights as an American during this upcoming election cycle.

Now, I'm not one to rock the boat if I don't have to, but I for one think it's about time someone stepped in to remind churches of their purpose in our country: making us all feel better about ourselves as people, without requiring anything further from us. 

I know what you're thinking.

"Isn't this a form of censorship?" you say.  "Won't this have a 'chilling effect' of some sort on something?"

Nonsense.  If the government doesn't protect us from the church, who will?  Our Constitution CLEARLY STATES that church and government must be completely separate in all definitions and possible meanings of the word, and if the church won't abide by those rules, then by golly, the government must.  Sending out warning letters is a good start, but how can we know for sure that these reckless, Constitution-violating Destroyers of Our Nation will behave themselves?  Wouldn't it be better to assign a federal agent to each congregation to monitor the content of their sermons so we can be certain that nothing objectional is said?

If we don't halt the advancing menace of churches expressing opinions on the qualifications of political candidates, where will they direct their focus next?  They might be encouraged to exert their influence on people's choices of entertainment, or health choices, or even our very behavior itself!

The federal government must put a stop to the church's subversive coup attempt before the long shadow of religious voters consumes us all!


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The Wal*Mart Hegemony

Posted by This Guy on Thursday, September 21, 2006 11:52:04 AM
Well, the tyrants that run Wal*Mart are at it again ... they've just announced a plan to exploit someone, somehow as only a company as enormous as theirs can.  That's right, they're selling generic drugs for as little as $4 per 30-day supply.  Oh, sure, at first maybe it seems like a good idea, but we all know how it works ...

"Here," says Wal*Mart, "have some amoxicillin!  It's only $4!  Try it, you'll like it!"

So you do, and then guess what?  You're hooked!  But it's alright at first, you think, because it's only costing you $4/month to support your Moxi habit.  Meanwhile, Wal*Mart's driving every other pharmacist in the country out of business, and as soon as the precious few remaining Eckerds and CVSs and Walgreenses have been destroyed, that's when the real trouble starts. 

I'm not exactly sure of the dastardly details, and I haven't figured out how this is going to hurt the average working American, but since it's Wal*Mart, I'm positive that it's a load of trouble for all but the elite and super-rich.  Besides, if Wal*Mart just provided comprehensive health care for all of its workers, no one would be concerned about the price of these generics anyway! 

How long will we continue to allow Wal*Mart to crush the masses beneath its Giant Steel Boot of Tyranny?



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Respect Me ... or DIE!!!

Posted by This Guy on Monday, September 18, 2006 9:24:23 AM
I am infuriated by the lack of respect that my co-workers have for me.  I recently overheard someone in the break room quoting my manager as having said that I "tend to leave garbage all over the counters, and explode burritos in the microwave", and let me tell you, I nearly smashed that guy in the face with my coffee mug. 

It's not that what he said was false ... I often microwave burritos for a good five or six minutes, because I love that dull, meaty popping sound they make when they blow their beef-and-beany goodness all over the place, and I usually don't feel like throwing my own trash in the garbage cans because I know there are other people who will take care of that for me.  But for other people to talk about my actions as if there is something wrong with me, that's just completely unacceptable.  It's intolerant, and I won't stand by while that sort of behavior is allowed to go on in my work place.

To protest management's tacit approval of such unenlightened commentary, I have ripped the coffee maker out of the break room (it's under my desk), smashed the glass out of the vending machines and scattered their contents all over the office, and crammed the microwave in the toilet.  Also, I have made several effigies of the offending co-worker which I plan to burn every hour, on the hour, until these barbarians I work with finally give me the proper respect that I deserve.

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